overwhelmed

Holy Stink.

I am so overwhelmed! I honestly thought only 5 or 6 people actually read my blog, but I have been getting an abundance of love being poured into my email inbox, facebook messages, text messages, and I feel so grateful that people are actually interested and encouraged by my life and journey!

I have had such an awesome time just writing down all my thoughts, whether they make sense or not, or whether or not I read it two days later and say " what was I thinking saying that!?"

I wanted to talk about something.  Something that has been on my heart. Marriage.  My Boyfriend & I have been together for 3 years, it's been such an amazing journey, filled with it's ups and downs. I love him, with my whole heart.  I'm at that point in my life where everyone around me is getting engaged/married/having babies, and I feel like I'm missing out, or that I'm not going to be able to experience it.  I know. It's selfish thinking, and I regret it.. because instead of being happy for those people, I sit around and sulk.  Everyone says to me " when are you guys getting engaged?!" Etc.

When In all realness, As much as I'm so excited to one day be engaged and married to Sean.  I'm not ready.  Maybe in a year or two.  But right now - I'm not ready.  I'm just discovering for myself that I need to make some life changes, and I know that it will take awhile before I'm okay with myself, before I can fully love myself.  I need to realize that God's timing is the perfect timing.  That I can wait a couple of years, have my life in order, have my relationship with God be on such a high point, to be financially and emotionally stable.

I am so grateful that I have someone like sean who supports me in all these descision's, who encourages me to make these life changes, and who - despite our ups and downs, will never leave my side.

So, to answer everyones question.
No, we will not be getting engaged soon. This change i'm making could take weeks, months, maybe even a year.

But - when we do, I'll be sure to write a blog about it :)

LOVE & PEACE.
Remember JER 29:11 " For I KNOW the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..."